Blatant works best when picking up men
In BLONDES I wrote about the pick-up lines men use to strike up conversation with women. Direct compliments were bad, sexual come-ons worse. The most effective lines involved those that suggested social status (“This drink’s on me; I know the owner.”) and kindness (“Let me help you get to the front of the line”) or culture and wealth (“I like your Versace sunglasses. I’ve got a pair too.”)
But given that women also approach men, what pick-up lines should women use?
The answer is direct no-nonsense lines, according to a recent study led by Joel Wade at Bucknell University. Wade and his colleagues asked 40 female undergrads which lines they’d use to pick up a guy, and how likely they’d use those lines in a real-life situation. More than 30 men were than asked to evaluate the lines.
“Hey, want to meet up later tonight?”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“I like your hair”
“Give me a call – here’s my number”
trumped the more subtle
“Hello, how’s it going?”
“Hey, what’s your name?”
“How was your weekend?”
and humorous/sexual comments (e.g. “Your shirt matches my bed spread, basically you belong in my bed”).
The more direct, the better. One interpretation of these findings is that men have a distaste for subtlety. Studies show that men have an overestimation bias — they’re more likely to think a woman is interested in them even when she’s not — so any blatant reinforcement is welcome. A direct pick-up line also suggests a more sexually motivated woman. She wants you, not just a chat.
I find it odd that men weren’t more responsive to direct sexual/humorous come-ons by women; I suspect it depends on the context and delivery. (The sample lines in the study were also real duds.) Or it supports the theory that many men don’t prefer sexually aggressive women. Even if a woman makes the first foray, men like a pursuit.
All this leads me to point to the limitations of studies such as this one. Men were asked to rate pick-up lines, but the effectiveness of the lines was not tested in an actual situation. See, guys are visual creatures; a direct pick-up line won’t work if they don’t find the woman attractive. And assuming the woman is comely enough, I suspect any come-on would work equally well.